Madness from the start
by Mystrothedefender
Summary: Harley has found her way to the Joker, a man she had wanted to meet for a while. In my opinion a doctor-patient relationship is everything but a good base for romance. But will she listen? Of course not... A terrible story, the first thing I ever wrote.
1. Chapter 1

Authors note: I thought the first few chapters where too short so I smooshed them together into one chapter. :D I hope you like it.

Reviews are encouraged.

Thank you for reading.

...

I walked into the room and sat down opposite him.

The first thing I noticed was his face, of course, it was famous, a shocking shade of white, he had an almost annoyingly long face, with a very pointed chin paired with an incredibly long nose. He had large dark green eyes, almost black, and very thick eyelashes which made his eyes look even darker.

He almost looked alien, or at least not truly human.

His most distinguished, and most fascinating feature was his mouth, slightly scarred round the edges, I could tell he'd been in many fights. Lips which were deep red, quite in contrast to his face, and his mouth was massive, yet his teeth seemed slightly to big to accommodate it.

And his smile, oh his smile, it was the most dauntingly beautiful sight, it would consume his face in a slow flash of pure glee. Normally this wondrous smile would precede some of the oddest laughter I had ever heard, so varied.

No one had ever laughed at my jokes before.

I think I liked him.

... ... ...

That wasn't the first time I'd seen the Joker, of course, I'd seen him around Arkham and quite a few times on the news, I'd always thought he was just your run of the mill crazy person.

The first time I'd actually seen him, in person, was as I was walking to my office a while after a nice chat with two face, who only half an hour after our meeting had gotten himself into a fight with Joker in the cafeteria, from what I'd heard he had made a joke about Harvey putting on weight, and it was a fight that Joker had lost.

I'll always remember that moment, him being dragged along by a couple of guards back to his cell, he was giggling, as always, but as he passed me he stopped and gazed into my eyes, and I suddenly felt as if I could feel his pain, he looked so helpless, I felt almost hypnotized, only for a few seconds, then he was gone.

That was when I decided that I needed to meet him.

... ... ...

The next evening as I sat down at my desk what did I see? A vase. With a single rose in it and a note : Come down and see me some time - J. How did it get there? Hah, there was no point in asking, I'd read his files, I knew how crafty he could be. Though you've got to admit that it was a lovely gesture, I wonder how he'd known what my favorite flower was.

I went straight down to ask him what he'd done, and well I'm sure you know what happened, one thing he said that got me was: "It makes me feel there's someone here I could relate to, someone who might like to hear my secrets." I knew he was only saying that to get me interested in him, as if I wasn't already, but what I couldn't figure out was why he would say that to me.

Was he was interested in me too?

So I studied him, I read all the notes from all the doctors who had seen him previously, all saying different things about him, he'd told them all different stories. But maybe, if he was interested in me, as I thought he was, he might tell me the truth. I spent my free time studying his actions, watching him in the cafeteria, security tapes from some of his interviews, I even went down and watched him in his cell after my shifts, from the shadows where I was sure he wouldn't be able to see me.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jack asked through the phone.

"Yes I am, I really feel like I have to do this."

"Just be careful, you know that people like him can mess with your head." His voice was laced with worry.

I rolled my eyes, "Look I know you're just looking out for me, but there's nothing to worry about, you know me."

"yes and I know how easily you can be influenced, remember that time I got you to back flip off the top of that building and you broke you're nose?" He laughed mockingly, what an annoying little bugger he was...

"Come on Jackie, we were kids then, it's ok I know what I'm doing. I'm going to meet him."

I felt I was ready to talk to him, try to get him to unveil his true feelings and maybe his true identity.

... ... ...

But I really hadn't expected this, to be so taken by his appearance, or his personality, or his laugh, but I'd never seen him in the light before, or heard him without having to whisper.

I could hardly speak, his eyes were staring into mine again, trying to hypnotize me again. I wouldn't let them, no, I shook my head to try to rid myself of this odd feeling, of wanting to be close to him and make sure he was ok, that's not why I'm here, well it was really, but not like that. After a few deep breaths to gather my thoughts I continued with my questions.

"Are you ok _miss Quinzel_?" He asked me, a few sessions in.

I was rather confused by his use of my proper name, as since I introduced myself to him he had insisted on calling me Harley. I think he could tell that I was confused.

"Hmm. I just can't shrug this weird feeling I get when I'm around you." I replied after a few seconds, I truly had no idea where this was going, or why I would tell him that.

"Ohh, Those sort of feelings ey? Well I don't blame you, most people are intimated by my _brilliance_!" He flexed his arms, pulled gunshot poses, then fell back in his chair laughing.

"No Mr Joker not those sort of feelings, I'm not scared of you." when I said this his mouth fell open, as if mocking what I'd said, he crossed his arms exclaiming "HMMPH" and I couldn't help but giggle.

For a second he stopped, still as he processed this new information, maybe I wouldn't have noticed if I had been writing my notes and not focusing so strongly on him. Then he slightly raised his eyebrows, as if in surprise and he returned to normal. "Oh right..." He rolled his eyes.

He cleared his throat and slowly stated "I don't think I've told you about my... personal life."

I straitened up "you've told me about your parents, your childhood, your adventures in England and some of the details about your life with the mob, what could be next?" I made sure I smiled at him in a way that seemed inviting, I didn't want to seem condescending.

"Hmm. You know what Harley. I don't think your quite ready for the details about _that_ yet" he winked at me "and our times up anyway!" he gifted me with an extra wide smile as he leaped towards the door as the guards arrived to guide him from the room. I'd have to tell Jack about this later.

I sighed happily, I couldn't wait for our next meeting.


	2. Chapter 2

He was so infuriating today!

Why would he ask me if I'd like to know about his personal life at the end of the last session, and then not tell me anything but jokes for the whole of this one?

Of course I laughed politely and asked how he had thought up that disgusting joke about the baby, to which he replied "I didn't think you'd like it, that's one of Riddler's jokes." and then he went on a rant about how the Riddler was stealing his act, and before I could ask what he meant by 'act' the guard came in and said our time was up, and took him away from me.

I wish I could spend more time with him.

But our next session wasn't for another 3 days.

So I got one of the guards to let me into his cell that night. I never realised how small and dingy these cells were, the only things in it were a bed, a toilet, a sink and a tiny table with a chair at it, and yet it seemed cramped. Maybe I should ask the professor about making them seem a little more homey, it might get the inmates to relax a bit.

I sat down on the rickety chair with my little notebook and looked up at the Joker, who was crouching on his bed, staring at me intently.

"I didn't realise Professor Arkham had approved a conjugal visit day." he said, his grin growing wider.

"He hasn't." I rolled my eyes, "I only came down here because I feel we didn't accomplish all we could have in our session today."

His grin shrank slightly "Why of course, why else would you come to see me. No one ever talks to me unless its to find out what could be wrong with me. But there's _nothing_ wrong with me! I'm not insane, I'm more sane and more intelligent than any of those humans out there. Do you know you're the only person to ever come down to see me?"

"Well you should be flattered." I grinned, his eyes grew wide and he burst into a fit of laughter.

He sighed and looked deep into my eyes "I think you're the only person around here that even comes close to being my friend."

My insides lit up, I felt unusually happy that he'd said that to me, I smiled.

Then I realised it'd been almost 5 minutes since I'd said anything. "Umm, so Joker, didn't you say you wanted to tell me about your personal life?"

"Ooh I thought you'd never ask" he giggled, an odd giggle I'd not heard before. "well, before my accident, I used to be rather handsome, or so I thought" he brushed his hand through his hair "but I still didn't do all that well with the lady's, turns out they ain't much into the whole mute thing. But when I did get with one it was always worth it, I thought myself rather good actually, or at least above average."

I hadn't realised this was what he had meant by personal life. I felt as if I didn't want him to go into detail about it. I scribbled what he'd said onto my note pad and I cleared my throat asking "what about after your accident?" He lay down on his bed and sighed "Oh Harley, things have been bad, I mean a guy has needs, which need to be met. But what woman would want me now. Even hookers run away, unless I pay them high enough." He looked at me, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him, everyone deserves to be loved, even mad men.

Was he mad? I quickly scanned my notes, he didn't seem as mad as most people said.

He sat on the edge of his bed and whispered "I just wish I had a girl I could rely on." After saying this he flopped back on the bed, faced away from me and mumbled, with a slight crack in his voice "I think I'd like you to leave now miss Quinn, I'd like to get some rest." I walked over to him and stroked his face "I'll be back tomorrow ok?" and I slowly left the cell.

I couldn't believe it, as far as I knew no one had ever got the Joker to reveal that sort of thing before, thinking back I wish I had let him continue, but I'd had a feeling that what he would say might make me sick.

As I walked to my office I kept running through the conversation we'd just had in my head, was this proof that he was interested in me? Maybe that he even trusts me? But at the back of my mind there was something telling me to be careful, and that he might be lying to me, but no he wouldn't lie to me not after that. Would he?

No. I was sure of it.


	3. Chapter 3

I talked to the professor and the warden about giving the inmates the opportunity to decorate their cells, just a little, maybe a colour of paint they liked and a couple of figurines, or news paper clippings, they said it would be ok as long as it was nothing that could be made into a weapon. We decided to only do a few at a time, only the ones who had been behaving or who had made good progress, like a reward. We asked the doctors for reports on the patients they thought were progressing best, of course I gave a glowing report on Joker.

That week was fun, we gave the chosen inmates a flip book of wall colours and a few magazines, so they could pick decorations. Jack even did a news piece on it.

Just as I had guessed, Joker picked to paint his room pale green and purple, and the decorations matched what you might think a ten year old boy might pick. A couple of Batman and Joker posters, which I was instructed to check behind every now and then to make sure he wasn't trying to tunnel out, and a couple of stuffed toys, again Batman and Joker.

As I walked in that evening, I had to admit Joker had done a very nice job painting, it almost looked professional.

"Harley!" Joker bounded up to me and gave me a hug, I closed my eyes and squeezed back "hey puddin'" I said jokingly, I knew he hated how my voice sounded when I said that. He chuckled and skipped to his bed, "Thank you so much for setting this up, its made me feel so much better about myself."

"Well that was the idea" I smirked, went to sit on the chair and pulled out my notepad again.

He grunted "And again with that notepad, what have you got written on that about me?" He sprinted over and snatched it from my hands, despite my protests he began to read it, holding it out of my reach so I couldn't get it back.

He mumbled as he read: northern Irish... father evil... mother killed... mute... adopted English family murdered... uncle in mob... America... batman... acid... "Hah and some funny pictures, oh Harley it's all here, but I never told you I was northern Irish. How did you guess that?"

He handed me back the note book, "I guessed by the way you saluted the warden, only the English army solutes like that, if you were southern you wouldn't have done it like that."

"Ooh very smart Harley!" he smiled, but something about it seemed insincere. I wandered over to one of the posters to admire it, a cartoon batman standing on top of a building. "Oh I do love that poster Harls, it really helps me" and he laughed suddenly, it was that odd laugh again. I shuddered at the thought of what it meant, he noticed this and burst out laughing "oh come on Harley don't be like that, your so old fashioned!"

"...so what does that mean?"

"It means I get excited at the thought of killing my enemy's." He chuckled evilly. Then looked over at me almost lovingly.

I picked at the edge of the poster "HEY HEY, Harley what are you doing?" "I've been told to do this to make sure you won't tunnel out of here."

He strolled up to me, stopped inches from my face "Oh Harl, does that really sound like my style?"

"Well no I guess not..."

"No! Of course not!" He lifted his hand, as if to hit me, then stopped and held his hands to his face "I'm so sorry Harley, I didn't mean to shout." He held his hands to his eyes and sobbed, then turned and walked to the corner of the room, looked at me, and smiled weakly. I walked to the door. "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to report that." and left.

As I walked past the glass window I saw him leaping and spinning around his room, laughing.

Did he care at all?

He must do, a lot, or else he would have struck me, and probably killed me. That thought made me happy.

The next morning as I walked into the asylum, I was met by a horrendous noise, shouting, screaming, roaring in delight and terror. I ran to ask a guard what had happened, "The Joker escaped! He's killed Frank and John, and 3 other guards are seriously injured."

I ran to Jokers cell, I wanted to see for my self the damage that'd been done. I gasped at what I saw. Blood, all over the cells floor, and the white outline of a guard and the outline of his head about a foot away. "We know how he did it." said the voice of a man behind me, the warden.

I span round and asked what. "He tempted one of the guards into his cell, tackled him, then decapitated him with his key wire." my mouth fell open "AND, what makes it more confusing is that he had a gun. Can you guess where miss Quinzel!"

"Where?" I had a feeling I knew where but I didn't want to say. "BEHIND HIS POSTER! WHY DID YOU NOT CHECK THERE WHEN I TOLD YOU TO!"

"I was going to, but then he threatened to hit me. I was going to tell you this morning but... this..."

"You should have come up and seen me last night. Miss Quinzel I'm putting you on probation for this, come back in a week."

I walked slowly back through the pools of blood and body parts, all I could think of was Joker, why would he run away? Was it because of last night? Was it my fault? I could feel my self tearing up. I pulled out my note book, I had to find him, I re-read my notes, where could he be? At last I found a place, and old comedy club north west of the harbor.

It was a long drive there, it was almost dark. I smashed a window and climbed in, the place was massive. I traversed my way through the rubble of the half knocked down theater to the center, which had been cleared and had a few brightly coloured blankets and joke toys strewn around it, in the middle if the blankets a vase, with a rose in it, the note on it said "I knew you'd come, now go home-J" I burst into tears. No don't cry... I tried to stop myself but I couldn't.

Suddenly a voice came from the shadows in front of me "Do you care about him?" and a man dressed in a bat suit stepped out of the darkness "I really do batman" "I'm looking for him too miss. You should help me find him."

"I can't"

"Having him loose is worse for him than good."

"I know but I can't. He'll find out I helped and it'll all be for nothing. He'll never want to talk to me again. Just try to find him."

"I will. But don't expect me to be gentle with him." and he left.

I had a feeling that if my puddin' was here he'd be laughing at that.

Anger welled up inside me as I realised what had just happened. Batman had come to a place Joker had only ever told me about, what right did he have to come to Mr J's secret hide out in the hope of catching him, And you heard him 'don't expect me to be gentle'? Why would he beat up my puddin'? He's a good person, he's just made a couple of mistakes. Everyone's made mistakes. I know I have. Why should Mr J be the one who was being picked on?

I was still crying, fuming, when I got home.

I missed him.


End file.
